The KOL Freakout

My preoccupation with rakishness would compel me to at least pretend that I’m emotionally inaccessible or socially unaware even if I wasn’t already those things. Fortunately for me I can be completely sincere. Sincerest still during a KOL Freak-out. acquaintances, fellow Slap Assassins, and most piano repairmen/flower merchants can attest to the red-faced teary-eyed furious end to a night that can ultimately be linked to only two variables: KOL and large quantities of red wine (the obvious overt sentimentality issues at the root i.e “the girl” can be considered a rotating third factor).
I have wanted to try and get across in words the complete concept. I want to see if I am the only one who experiences this phenomenon. I know I am not (Caleb himself describes the “Rooster”) but I still want to be Christ on the stauros; isolated; rakish. That seems dark but the KOL Freak-out can be dark.
Signs that you are in the middle of a KOL Freak-out:
1.) You have at least one, if not more than one empty bottles of red wine around you. Usually this will be an old vine Zin or maybe even a Pinot and even more recently a Carmenere.
2.) You have just broken a piano. Basic technique for breaking pianos during a KOL Freak-out is to try and throw as many Gin Gimlets into inside of the instrument as possible before getting punched.
3.) Buy all the flowers from the street merchant at once and give them to whomever the rotating third factor is at the moment.
4.) You are crying.
Variations abound and the only constants are wine and KOL. General rakishness is often associated with the KOL Freak-out, as are Camel No. 9 Menthe 100s. The true aficionado can even peak a freak-out with dirty gin martinis in place of the wine; recovery periods are subsequently longer. I have been able to do it with just exhaustion and the song “Cold Desert” or “Knocked Up.”
Less important are the logistics than the overall experience, the affect, the next day recollections. I dont think I have ever ever woke up the next day feeling anything other than soothed or recovered or I guess refreshed; certainly not physically but instead considerably lighter emotionally. It would be a mistake to associate it with any type of Judaeo-Christian biblical awakening; some modern spiritual prowess bestowed upon the young man and his soul but we all know that art and chemicals have done some pretty amazing things for people. I dont feel the need to pretend to be a purist.
Ultimately that emotional release makes the KOL Freak-out a viable therapy. One cannot, without experience, grasp this; no matter how much I may try to describe it. It can easily be compared to post-orgasmic clarity. The KOL Freak-out is more or less the same as extending that feeling over the course of an evening. I clarify; I am not comparing it to the euphoria but instead the clearness of mind that comes subsequently and is quick washed away with the next surge of hormones. When I became accustomed to the onset of the KOL Freak-out I was then able to force out or dissect the experience in an even more practical manner. The behavior became less sporadic and uncontrolled and the effect therefore more ethereal (thus the lightness previously described). I am a proponent, a fan. I want everyone to taste and see. The KOL Freak-out allows us to reach for those far out feelings and make them ache up close and if need be, we can then, keep that feeling or discard it as truly hurtful.